


the falling of my feet, it sounds like drummin'

by oscillateswildly



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Ben Solo Deserved Better, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:21:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21926617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oscillateswildly/pseuds/oscillateswildly
Summary: i...sad.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 7
Kudos: 39





	the falling of my feet, it sounds like drummin'

She's weary. She's got bruises and cuts and her heart is so heavy. She climbs into the X-wing and sits for a moment. There’s a blinking light on the dashboard. It looks like a transmission. Rey hits play assuming it’s for Luke from friends trying to reach him after he went into hiding. A hologram of Ben appears, and her breath hitches.

“Rey, I really hope I can delete this holo so you don’t ever have to see it. I’ve got to get to you, so apologies if this is all over the place. I thought I should make this as a ‘just in case’. But it’ll be okay, this message won’t be needed. Anyway, I hope that I get the chance to tell you this face to face and I hope when I do tell you it’s years from now when we are old, when we are happy, when we are safe. I love you. I love you and I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for any cause I’ve harmed you and I hope you realize the guilt I’ve been holding onto. You’ve been my light. Growing up I, I, Rey, you wouldn’t have wanted to know me then. The voices, ha, the voice. That… it’s the past."

In the projection, Ben hangs his head.

"I saw you in Takodana and I know you were frightened. I don’t know how I’ll ever make it up to you. I don’t ever want to frighten you; I never really have. Will you forgive me for this? Will you ever see me as who I should have been? Who you should have met in the forest? Force, I hope so. I, I saw my dad, Rey. Han. I watched you fly off in my TIE and he was there. Rey, I think he forgave me. Honestly I think he forgave me even before he fell off the bridge. I’m so... Rey, honestly I’m scared to go in there again. But you’re in there and I need to get to you. Gods, I can’t wait to tell you about our bond. We’re gonna get out of this and I’m gonna delete this. You know, I threw away my saber. It's so deep in the ocean of Kef Bir that no one should find it. All I’ve got is this blaster Lando… oh Rey you’ve got to meet Lando. He will love you. I’ve got this blaster he gave me when I was way too young to have one. I don’t know why I’d held onto it, but at least I’m not going in there weaponless."

He looks more intently at her.

"I love you Rey, and I don’t know if you’ll ever forgive me, or if I’ll ever be able to atone for my crimes. I don’t expect the galaxy at large will forgive me, but I just hope you do. You are my light, you are my sun, my stars, and I don’t ever want to be without you. I want to spend eternity in your thoughts, in your grace and kindness. I won’t ever deserve you. I need to go now Rey, I will see you soon. Wait for me; wait for me and let me tell you all these things. I love you.”

The holo closes. Rey’s whole body is shaking with her sobs.

“I love you, too.” she whispers. "I'll wait."


End file.
